This blog is for my book review but this post is different. Since it’s Mental Health Awareness I thought I should talk about my history with mental health.
I have a long history with depression, most of the members of my family have some form of depression. I’m not going to tell their stories, it’s theirs to tell and to be honest it’s a private thing. I grew up in a household where we had to deal with our mental health everyday.
I sadly have a dad who grew up with depression, bipolar disorder and other issues and he couldn’t cope and didn’t have the right help he needed and in the end he took his own life. Growing up I didn’t realize what he was going through and now that I’m an adult and think back to our home and his life, I realize he was going through a struggle in his mind that no one else could understand. I now wish we had the tools and help to get him through it. It’s been two years since he passed and I think about him everyday. He had his problems but he was still a great dad. He did everything a typical dad would do for his children. He taught me how to drive, he taught me how to shoot a gun, he was there for my high school graduation and gave my high school boyfriend the typical “dad speech”. I am very grateful for everything he did for me personally and for our family.
Lately, I’ve had some days where I’m great and others where I’m crying for no reason and down in the dumps. I realized that I may have depression and I need to recognize this and take time for myself so I can be a better mom and wife. While I was feeling down, my husband tried to make me feel better, asking me what was wrong and how he could fix it. To be honest, I didn’t know and it made me mad that I couldn’t pin it down for him to help me.
Now that I’m acknowledging that I need to take care of myself better, I’m being proactive and taking the extra time to make me feel better. Here are some things that I do to make me feel good.
- Spend time outside – go for walks, go to parks with my son
- Talk to my doctor
I hope my reading this more people understand that Mental Health is a subject that should be taught more, spoken about more. We need more people to understand what people with depression and bipolar disorder need support, people to talk to and sometimes the right medication to help them feel like their best selves.